She already comes into school regularly and I feel so nervous when she is there. She ask loads of questions and seems OK with what I am doing. However I can't sleep for fear she is storing up all the knowledge ready to pounce on 1st Sept. It maybe a brilliant opportunity but somehow I don't think so. It will be years before the 'new state of the art school 'will be ready for occupation. Until then we 'll remain in the old one. I wish I could afford to walk away and let them get on with it but sadly I need to earn money to help pay the bills and what with the recession and my age think the chances of a new job are about zero. My job is a strange mixture of jobs-I am called a FLO which stands for Family Liaison Officer but I also am pastoral support for the children and the extended & healthy schools coordinator. What the hell I can do, well I don't know. So lots more sleepless nights ahead I guess.
On a lighter side here are some pictures taken last weekend in a village called Eynsford which is not far off the M20. It's a such pretty place and yet so near to such a busy motorway.
This is the Auricula that I bought at the National Trust plant sale last year. It has been outside all Winter but still came into flower. This certainly cheered me up when I first saw it the other day.
Another thing that has been getting me down are all the lovely photo's of bloggers homes. There are some beauties out there. Don't get me wrong I love seeing were you all live. It gives me hope and I been lucky and have lived in some delightful houses over the years including a 200 year old cottage in a tiny village surrounded by fields and woods. Unfortunately a few years ago we hit a rough patch and we downsized to a tiny new end of terrace on a new estate. I really don't like living here. Not just the house but the nearby town is depressing. When I watch a 'Try Before you Buy' or 'Location, Location' programme on TV and they exclaim 'Oh dear the kitchen is far too small ' and I see it's 3 times bigger than the cupboard that I call my kitchen I just want togo away and cry. The one bright light in all this is we have a small mortgage and with luck will not be affected by the recession. It has scuppered any plans that we did have to move on and find my dream home again.
Our main bedroom is also very small but we have tried to make it cosy.
This is my much loved old chest of draws that I bought second hand to go in the nursery for my first born a long, long time ago.
and this is my lovely new chest of draws that arrived last week. I love both of them.
8 comment:
oh dear Rosie you sound very down. I feel the same when I see other peoples houses but you have to look on the bright side, you have a roof over your head that's the main think. I live on a very rough estate which I hate but hey it's home. Sometimes when you feel fed up everything gets on top of you.
I'm sure your job will be ok, I bet you're better then you think when they're around. Hope you feel more postive soon, sending hugs to cheer you up :) x
Hugs from me too!(Note all your hugs are coming to you from Devon so far!!LOL)
I'm sad that you are feeling a bit low.
When I met you both at the V&H fair,I thought what a lovely couple you were...and to travel all that way too!!
I know it's easier said than done but I would try not to worry about your job..I bet you are so good at it.
I am quite bowled over by other people's homes too, especially on Location x3...but I do just watch programmes like that to gain inspiration really.
I used to have a very small terraced house and sometimes I think I was actually much happier there, with a small mortgage and thus less money worries.
A happy home is not the biggest home,full of material things,it's far more than that, I think.
BTW I've always loved Auriculas,they're very old fashioned flowers,aren't they?
I loved your photos of that little village.
Have a happy Monday.
Sal xx ;-)
Oh dear, Rosie I'm so sorry you are feeling so low about your job and where you live at the moment; the things that are happening in today's world don't help either as it seems at the moment that there isn't a way out of it and you can feel trapped in a situation because of financial constraints. It is hard when you feel threatened at work - my husband went through this at his college a couple of years ago. It is a very long tale of woe which I won't go into here.
All I can say is, keep your chin up and enjoy what you have now. Also try not to worry too much or you will make yourself ill or depressed. Take care, Rosiexx
Sounds like big changes are afoot on the work front and I'm sure it is difficult to see where, and even if, you might fit into the master plan. I can only add to other comments by saying just go with it and try to focus on the potential advantages (hopefully there are some)for you and the children you are all working with. On the home front, I,too, don't live in my ideal property (probably never will bar a lottery win) and I do get similarly demoralised by the houses on TV programmes and blogs. So I'm going to stop looking at them! Enjoy the Bank Holiday.
Try not to worry. (Easier said than done, I know). Worrying will not change anything. You never know, you may even like the changes that occur! I have always aspired to live in a farmhouse with a lot of land. This is unlikely to ever happen except in my dreams. Instead I try to make a mini version of the life I aspire to. I even had a couple of hens a while back. I am lucky to have a cat and a garden. I think the best thing we can do is make the most of what we have however small it may be and just work towards the things we would like to have. By the way. I have never understood the fascination with people wanting huge kitchens. Mine is tiny but everything is within reach. Why would anybody want to walk half a mile to get to the fridge and then half a mile back to get to the oven! Keep positive Rosie and I am sure that good things will come your way. Speech over!!! p.s the word verification was im a tree!
I do hope you are feeling happy again soon, please take care.
Love Melanie xxxx
Dear Rosie,
It never ceases to amaze me that some people do actually get to live their dreams. Take Kristie Allsopp for instance, what must it be like to be in her life! She not only grows up very priviledged, but then the partner she meets is so very wealthy also. I suppose what you are feeling must be common to most people. I know I sure experience these same feelings. There is always someone who has it easier, and you wonder why. Life isnt fair, life doesnt distribute the 'good' life evenly.
I find that the only thing that helps me when I feel like you do is friendship. Sharing something in common or getting together with people you can laugh with. It doesnt change anything, but lifts my mood somehow.
Life is about relationship, and when I get too focused on my house, which I do regularily! I know i need to find an outlet somewhere, with someone.
As per the job, things have obviously become more stressfulfor you. My husband works in a very stressful enviroment with little appreciation, and below average pay, just a result of some illness that he has, so I feel for you. Just getting out of bed is harder when the atmosphere is like that where you have to go.
i wish I was close enough to spend some 'fun' time with you, checking out a new tea shop or garage sale as we call them. hopefully you will find someone that you can do that with and make a date to 'forget your cares' for a bit.
Take care.
I love your dressers! and the bedding I see in the photo.
Lois
I have just been catching up on your lovely posts. I spent a lot of my youth in Eynesford, I'm glad to see it hasn't changed.
I love your bedside chests and your gorgeous duvet cover! have got a thing about reds, whites and pinks at the moment.
x
sumea
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